you said the deer hanging upside down in your grandpa’sshed was a sign the boys had a good day and the winterwould be nice and we could all drink a beer together tocelebrate even though we did not have to do any killingand we were not old enough to drink and I said I was goingto be sick and deer hanging upside down reminded me of hatecrimes and you said these woods have no hate and you did notunderstand what I was saying sometimes and I have been in thewoods before I have studied cracking branches under bodyweightand I have spied in every landscape but the woods with you wasn’tlike my cousins’ woods or my dad running with a BB gun and melaughing because I knew he’d never kill anything and it wasn’t thatI thought you wanted that deer to get killed but I had suspicion youdid not care either way and that indifference made me more sick but Ichoked back my tears and vomit so your grandpa didn’t call me a wussand so we could all clink beers and act happy that the deer was deadfor the sake of
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