This is an excerpt from Becoming a Badass but You Just Don’t Know It: A Teen Self-Help Book©)
When it comes to bullies, you are fearless. Successfully standing up for yourself is not a goal. It is a lifestyle that you are actively working towards living. Congratulations! Whether it is a cyber-bully, a mean bus driver, or even just a bigger boy that has been pushing you around at school, you can stand up for yourself! They want you to be reactive, so it’s time to be proactive.
Remember, if they lay their hands on you, you can hit back! Plant your back foot firmly on the ground. You have to keep your balance when being a Badass. Take a deep breath, ball up your fist, and hit them square on the nose. That is the universal “Leave me alone, bully” button. The last step is to bask in the adoration from all the cute girls. Don’t forget: You’re becoming a Badass, but you just don’t know it.
***
Leslie Bronson was tired of the crap he got from Danny Mastiff. Every day, when Danny was getting off the bus, he would smack Leslie in the back of the head and call him a “dirty word” boy. Leslie couldn’t even bring himself to think of the word. He had once said it to his father thinking he was calling him a cat, but his mother had heard and washed his mouth out with soap. He could still taste the chemicals on his tongue when Danny said it.
Leslie would no longer fall victim to Danny’s mean words and violent actions. Leslie had read Becoming a Badass but You Just Don’t Know It: A Teen Self-Help Book. He had been practicing in the mirror, planting his foot, taking a deep breath, and punching a pillow he had propped up on a table. He was ready. The next afternoon, when Danny was getting off the bus, Leslie wasn’t going to be reactive. He was going to be proactive. He fell asleep that night envisioning Samantha Hester, the prettiest girl on the bus, swooning over him as he stood above a bloodied Danny Mastiff.
***
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Bronson,
I am very sorry for what happened to Leslie. Ever since my daddy hit me last time before he choked my mama, I have been having what my therapist calls “post-traumatic stress disorders.” I go every Tuesday and Thursday for anger management. Last Thursday, Dr. Mendez told me that she thought it would be a good idea for me to write a list of all the people she thinks I may have hurt. The person at the top of my list was Leslie.
I am nothing like my daddy. I don’t want to be like him. He’s doing fifteen years in prison for trying to kill my mama and now I live with my granny. She takes care of both of us and has to feed mama through a tube. She uses a blender.
Leslie was one of my favorite people. Dr. Mendez says I have trouble forming meaningful relationships, so I lash out at the people I want to make friends with. When I tapped him on his shoulder to apologize to him for any pain I’ve caused, he just stood up and punched me. He kept saying “I am a badass! I am a badass!” It scared me and when I felt the blood coming out of my nose, everything went dark. When I woke up Samantha Hester was crying and Leslie was asleep on the floor. They told me I did it. I’m really really sorry.
I hope he lives.
Sincerely, Daniel Mastiff Jr.
Photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash
