I remember the air we lived in;the color of hyper, aqueous thin and glinting lifebut shake the razor globe, upend itand we were jim-jammed, shaky,unfounded, ungrounded, built of fearthat made us laugh, that made us pray.
Marathon Day, a Rosie woman cheated and we were preyedupon. “Forget her, look at that.” Her ass ina swatch, foot atop parking meter > NO FEAR,you headed for her, “Hello death,” you returned a[life].“No phone number yet; I’m staying.” So shakywith a taste of her, needing to slake, slake, slake it.
You completed her triangle, another man felt it.He was out and you were in. Who was preyand who was preyer? She keyedmy family’s psyche with her visit. Crazy incrazy out. She changed your lifeall right. She was yours; you put a face on your fear.
Nine people are dead, picked off by fearfrom my dining room table. We sat around it;I see us all, the color of seasons, bursting life.One by one, you all left the table and with deadly resolve (prayfor them) you relieved yourself from spite, hell the hurt inyour soul bones… you were number 7, Shaky.
You went to Florida and killed yourself, Shaky.That’s not really a vacation. Finding her there your fearwas made real. REPLACED!… you must have sat inyour Days Inn, stood up, put wallet on bed… then itbegan. You had your new shirt on, not to praybut to die. (“I just saw BREATHLESS and had to upgrade my shirt/my life.”)
Did you think, “Let me look over the edge (of life).A peek.” I wish you had made the roof, Shaky.The view/lights may have hugged you, altered you. Sparked prayer.The fire stairs offered concrete, height, windows and fear.Did you just want to peer out… get close to it?“Over in seconds, fear, hurt, loss, Dad… OUT!”
ENVOY DREAM
After I was told I was in shock… aww God, why? Reverse it! [life] I write this as I’m sleeping… …dreamy place…are you here? [fear]Or was this light put out when you hit? [Shaky/John] when it went black. [it]Your brain splattered 8 feet on this light side [pray], police report said so: Male, 30s, wearing jeans and a cool shirt.” [in]
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